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Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why YouShould Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office Paperback – March 7, 2006

by Jen Lancaster (Author)

1,444 ratings

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New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster takes you from sorority house to penthouse to poorhouse in her hilarious memoir of living the sweet life—until real life kicked her to the curb.

She had the perfect man, the perfect job—hell, she had the perfect life—and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice.

This is the smart-mouthed, soul-searching story of a woman trying to figure out what happens next when she's gone from six figures to unemployment checks and she stops to reconsider some of the less-than-rosy attitudes and values she thought she'd never have to answer for when times were good.

Filled with caustic wit and unusual insight, it's a rollicking read as speedy and unpredictable as the trajectory of a burst balloon.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

It doesn't take Lancaster long to live up to her lengthy subtitle ("Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass, or Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office"): in just one chapter, she gloats over cheating a homeless man, is rude to a waitress and passes judgment on all of her co-workers (including her "whore" best friend). She's almost gleeful about lacking "the internal firewall that keeps us from saying almost everything we think," but she doesn't come off as straightforward, just malicious. (Of course, it's possible she's making up much of her dialogue, which is a little too clever to be believable.) Lancaster expects sympathy for her downward slide after getting fired from her high-paying finance job in the post-9/11 recession, and chick lit fans may be entertained watching life imitate fiction, but just when you start to feel sorry for her, the snotty attitude returns. In later chapters, Lancaster increasingly relies on entries from her blog (www.jennsylvania. com) and caustic replies to criticisms, and though things start looking up—her husband finds a job, she lands a book deal—it's not clear that she's been as chastised by her experiences as she claims. (Mar. 7)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

Praise for Jen Lancaster

“Hilarious.”—InStyle

“A humorous and inspiring approach to navigating middle age.”—Booklist

“[A] hilarious and starkly honest memoir...Witty, bitingly funny, and even thought-provoking at times, I regret not one minute that I spent reading this book.”—The Book Chick

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin Publishing Group; First Edition (March 7, 2006)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 417 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0451217608
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0451217608
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.31 x 0.94 x 8 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #740,754 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #815 in Love, Sex & Marriage Humor
- #2,388 in Women's Biographies
- #6,272 in Memoirs (Books)

Customer Reviews:
1,444 ratings

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Jen Lancaster

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Jen Lancaster is a New York Times bestselling author who has sold well over a million books. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, Jen has made a career out of documenting her attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results. Her NYT bestselling novel Here I Go Again received three starred reviews (Kirkus, Booklist, Publishers Weekly). Her memoir I Regret Nothing was named an Amazon Best Book of the Year, and she's regularly a finalist in the Goodreads Choice Awards. She loves bad TV, terrible wine, and will die before she gives up her Oxford comma.

Jen can often be seen on The Today Show, as well as CBS This Morning, Fox News, NPR All Things Considered, among others. She lives in the Chicago suburbs with her husband and her many ill-behaved dogs and cats. Visit her website: jenlancaster.com, Twitter: @altgeldshrugged, Instagram: @jennsylvania, or Facebook.com/authorjenlancaster.

Hear the stories behind Jen's books on The Stories We'd Tell in Bars podcast, available on iTunes, Podbean, Spreaker, GooglePlay, and iHeartRadio, among other entities.

Customer reviews

1,444 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book hilarious, making them laugh out loud while reading, and appreciate its relatable pacing and talented author. The memoir is brutally honest and features a cute stylistic touch, with one customer noting how vividly the scenes are created. While some find it a pretty good story, others find it boring, and several customers describe it as shallow.

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Humor Pacing Enlightenedness Personality Honesty Style Story quality Depth

200 customers mention "Humor"184 positive16 negative

Customers find the book hilarious, making them laugh out loud while reading, and appreciate its sarcastic tone.

"...Through her wit, brutal honesty, elitist remarks, and unique footnotes, Jen somehow manages to endear herself to her reader all the while reminding..." Read more

"...It's a smart, funny, well researched book and her writing style is fantastic...." Read more

"A must read for women, whether gen-xyz, boomers, etc. Mom’s should share with daughters…but I can hear the eye rolls. Recommended" Read more

"When this first came out it was a frothy bit of fun - a slightly darker, real-life “Confessions of a Shopaholic” where successful Jen Lancaster is..." Read more

35 customers mention "Pacing"31 positive4 negative

Customers appreciate the book's pacing, finding it relatable and easy to get caught up in the story. One customer notes that the author says exactly what goes through her mind.

"...She is a talented, engaging author and I look forward to reading more of her work." Read more

"...Jen and her books are witty, absolutely hilarious, and totally relatable...." Read more

"...writer and it is a worthwhile story that will capture and keep your attention...." Read more

"...I thought she told her story so well. Instead of feeling sorry for her, I laughed all the way through her trials...." Read more

21 customers mention "Enlightenedness"21 positive0 negative

Customers find the book enlightening, with one mentioning how it shows how life changes and shapes you every day, while another notes how it helps to cheer them up.

"...It's a smart, funny, well researched book and her writing style is fantastic...." Read more

"...It also motivated me an aspiring writer to start my own blog and take up writing my book again, something I had thought was impossible before the..." Read more

"...The saga truly is inspiring...." Read more

"...Why didn't I read this 10 years ago? It's clever, witty and full of pop-culture references from my generation!..." Read more

20 customers mention "Personality"16 positive4 negative

Customers appreciate Jen Lancaster's talent and voice in the book, with one customer noting how the heroine grows smarter throughout the story.

"...She is a talented, engaging author and I look forward to reading more of her work." Read more

"...She's like Wonder Woman and Chandler Bing's love child. Love her clever, witty writing and insights and how she says or writes everything you wish..." Read more

"...Granted, this is Jen's first effort and she does have a "strong voice," so maybe her subsequent epics become more worthwhile...." Read more

"...Confessions of a Shopaholic...but with a much meaner and unwilling to change protagonist." Read more

12 customers mention "Honesty"12 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's honesty, describing it as brutally honest and hilarious.

"...Through her wit, brutal honesty, elitist remarks, and unique footnotes, Jen somehow manages to endear herself to her reader all the while reminding..." Read more

"...gave this book a low rating, but I enjoyed Lancaster's humor and brutal honesty. Yes, she's crude...." Read more

"...This book has it all, hubris, designer labels, drunken misadventures... dogs...." Read more

"...Her sharp tongue and honest assessment of herself make the memoir and her horrible behavior worth reading...." Read more

11 customers mention "Style"11 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the style of the book, noting its cute stylistic touch and charm, with one customer mentioning how vividly the scenes are created.

"...to see this as a joke and to see her as she herself does - funny, charming, witty and (maybe) just a teensy, weensy bit ‘difficult’...." Read more

"...The footnotes, while possibly a cute stylistic touch in the print version, are a real pain in the butt on Kindle...." Read more

"...This book has it all, hubris, designer labels, drunken misadventures... dogs...." Read more

"...She creates the scenes so vividly that she could be one of your best girls, just hanging out and raising everyone's spirits with her positive and..." Read more

23 customers mention "Story quality"16 positive7 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's story, with some finding it pretty good while others find it boring.

"...throughout the book, but I actually found them to be an integral part of the story and have since found reading a book without foot notes somewhat..." Read more

"...This book has it all, hubris, designer labels, drunken misadventures... dogs...." Read more

"...I actually found her to be quite boring and fake (despite the fact that she constantly told stories of how NOT boring she is in life)...." Read more

"This is a hilarious story about one woman's success and all the perks she enjoys until the economy fails, and she loses her job...." Read more

4 customers mention "Depth"0 positive4 negative

Customers find the book very shallow.

"...Other, than that, the story was okay, but not much depth." Read more

"...i had trouble liking her in the beginning because she comes off as very shallow and spoiled, but by the end of the book i liked her enough to try..." Read more

"...A very immature woman, incredibly materialistic and shallow. I just don't like her, and I really didn't care about her." Read more

"This book was very shallow, and I did not enjoy it - in fact for the first time in many years, I did not even finish it." Read more

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A. Din
One of the Funniest Books I've Ever Read...
Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2010
Verified Purchase

As a very sarcastic person I find sarcasm extremely humorous. Apart from myself and a few other people I've met along the way, author Jen Lancaster is one of the most sarcastic people I have ever come across and hence one of the funniest.

Bitter is the New Black is the autobiography of an extremely spoiled, elitist Vice President at [...] (love her generalizations in this book) who unexpectedly gets laid off during the tough economic times that follow 9/11. This book chronicles her descent from a high-flying executive earning [...] a year to someone who can't even score a temp position for which she is completely over qualified. Despite her perseverance she remains unemployed for 22 months and as a result, she and her boyfriend Fletch find themselves moving out of their unaffordable Chicago loft and into a far less desirable neighborhood. They can't afford their groceries, health insurance, or medicine, and Jen's attempts at finding employment are rebuffed at every opportunity.

One wouldn't think that a book based on the struggle to find employment could be an enjoyable read, but because Jen Lancaster does not mince words and speaks from the heart no matter how shallow it makes her seem, she manages to do the impossible. What made me love the author was the fact that she never once gave up or felt sorry for herself. Faced with her circumstances, I'm fairly certain I wouldn't be as motivated as her.

Though crass and arrogant at times, I think that everyone can find a little bit of themselves in the author. The truth is, there is a moral to this story for all of us. Especially during the current economic crisis. Who isn't guilty of materialism at one point or another? Who doesn't splurge on a Prada bag or justify [...] highlights on occasion? Who doesn't take their financial status for granted, never thinking it could unexpectedly be taken away from them? Through her wit, brutal honesty, elitist remarks, and unique footnotes, Jen somehow manages to endear herself to her reader all the while reminding us to appreciate what is really important in life.

To sum it up, allow me to give you the full title of this book: Bitter is the New Black - Confessions of a condescending, egomaniacal, self-centered, smart-ass, or why you should never carry a Prada Bag to the unemployment office.

How can you not want to read it now?

Ameena Din
Freelance Reviewer

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DeeDee Brown
Almost Gave Up On It
Reviewed in the United States on March 2, 2024
Verified Purchase
I'm glad that the first book I read by Jen Lancaster was Welcome to the United States of Anxiety.
It's a smart, funny, well researched book and her writing style is fantastic.
Had I read Bitter is the New Black first, I would have given up reading it about a quarter of the way in.
Simply put, she is insufferable for 60% of the book.
Think of every 'ist' you can, and she embraced it.
This was so at odds with the person she seems to be in the first book I mentioned.
I pushed through because I honestly just wanted to read about her comeuppance.
She definitely became more humble and aware towards the end.
It appears that one of the darkest periods of her life probably ended up saving her in the long run.
She is a talented, engaging author and I look forward to reading more of her work.

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Kasey
liberating, snarky FUN
Reviewed in the United States on September 23, 2024
Verified Purchase
A must read for women, whether gen-xyz, boomers, etc. Mom’s should share with daughters…but I can hear the eye rolls.

Recommended

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Professor Kowald
Fun in 2006 -cringey in 2020
Reviewed in the United States on September 11, 2020
Verified Purchase
When this first came out it was a frothy bit of fun - a slightly darker, real-life “Confessions of a Shopaholic” where successful Jen Lancaster is forced to take a long hard look at her life after losing her job -and everything else.
But oh my, this book does not wear well over a decade later.
Jen’s constant casual racism (she throws a fit in the Unemployment office when they begin an Orientation in Spanish and yes - makes “we’re in America” cracks that she thinks are oh-so-witty); ableism (she nicknames a coworker “Retardy-Arty” - isn’t she a kick?) and classicism (too many to mention - but let’s just say she has a LOT of opinions about her low-income neighbors and how she can’t wait until the neighborhood gentrification gets them all moved far away from her) all just add up to far too many moments when you really wish someone would just haul off and smack her upside the head with a Walmart purse.
Yikes.
The challenge is that while Jen happily refers to herself - even in the title - as “condescending and egomaniacal” - we clearly are meant to see this as a joke and to see her as she herself does - funny, charming, witty and (maybe) just a teensy, weensy bit ‘difficult’.
An example of this is the story she tells about a company that actually rescinds a job offer entirely as a direct result of her own childish, bad behavior. ( She posts a public lists of companies that didn’t hire her on the internet and goes on about what bastards they all are).
When her prospective employer withdraws their offer because a number of their clients are on that list - does Jen learn a valuable lesson about being careful what you put on the internet?
Nope. Far from it. She doubles down on her blog and adds these people to her virtual ‘hit-list’ and starts fiendishly trying to figure out who ratted on her. (I guess Ms “I’m the greatest marketing wizard in the world” never heard of Googling someone)
But we’re clearly supposed to be right alongside her - shaking our heads about how “unfair” everyone us to poor old Jen and cheering her on with her blow against ...er...um... it’s hard to say what this was meant to achieve exactly.
I guess it helped her add yet another group to the ever-growing list of “People who don’t think Jen is nearly as fun and madcap as she thinks she is”.
Shoot- now I’m probably on that list too.
What are you going to do?
I’ll make sure if we ever meet I’ll have my Walmart purse tucked firmly under my arm - just in case.

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Top reviews from other countries

Edith Lz
Five Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 7, 2017
Verified Purchase

I laughed sooo much while reading this book. I mean that in the best possible way. This woman is hilarious. I felt like she was sitting next to me while talking about her day. I'm looking forward to reading more of her books.

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Lisa M. Molyneaux
Bitter is the Best
Reviewed in Canada on August 9, 2020
Verified Purchase
One of my all-time favourite books ever, I don't have enough time to write a review just do yourself a favour, grab this book and get ready to Laugh Your Butt Off.

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Psychfra
Four Stars
Reviewed in Canada on November 9, 2017
Verified Purchase
Pretty good laughs while reading this on the subway to work

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Amazon Customer
Jen is incredibly funny and ruthless in this book
Reviewed in Canada on May 28, 2016
Verified Purchase
Jen is incredibly funny and ruthless in this book! The book goes through her life and uses hilarious language to connect with the audience. If you're looking for an easy read that isn't short on humour I highly suggest this book!

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Little Miss Flake
Great Title
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 2, 2008
Verified Purchase
Shame about the content. You can tell that Jen Lancaster has been faithful to her experiences, but real life just ain't that interesting. This is supposed to be a riches to rags story, but if I'd take this girls kinda hardship any day! Ultimately she's got a great boyfriend (who becomes her husband), great (financially) supportive parents and she's unemployed for a bit. Oh and then she gets a book deal. She also thinks she's funnier than she is. Loved the opening pages, would get you to buy the book, so does she really give a toss about the rest?

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Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why YouShould Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office Paperback – March 7, 2006

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Top reviews from the United States

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5.0 out of 5 stars One of the Funniest Books I've Ever Read...

4.0 out of 5 stars Almost Gave Up On It

5.0 out of 5 stars liberating, snarky FUN

3.0 out of 5 stars Fun in 2006 -cringey in 2020

Top reviews from other countries

5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars

5.0 out of 5 stars Bitter is the Best

4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars

5.0 out of 5 stars Jen is incredibly funny and ruthless in this book

2.0 out of 5 stars Great Title

One of the Funniest Books I've Ever Read...

Almost Gave Up On It

liberating, snarky FUN

Fun in 2006 -cringey in 2020

Five Stars

Bitter is the Best

Four Stars

Jen is incredibly funny and ruthless in this book

Great Title